The Ignored Child
School can be a very cruel place for a young child. It doesn’t take long before a child knows whether he/she is accepted by his peers. Usually the pretty and handsome children stand out amongst all the students and a child learns quickly that the ‘popular ones’ are favored and chosen first for most activities.
If you are a teacher you know exactly what I am talking about. As teachers we may have a tendency to pay more attention to some children even though we try not to. We tend to be drawn to the ‘well-rounded’ child who has developed a cute personality.
There is the child who I label ‘ignored’. This child could be the one who is quiet, not quite as cute as the others. He/she may be very attentive to instruction, or he/she may daydream and think of other places he/she would rather be than sitting in school. It is the child who doesn’t play with the others on the playground. It is the child who you wonder what he/she is thinking.
Bill, not his real name, came into my fourth grade classroom on the first day of school and I knew immediately he was not ordinary. His stature was that of a little man, he wore very thick glasses, and had difficultly walking. He took a seat in the back of the room and waited for instruction. I watched him as the other children came into the room. They ignored him and he didn’t talk to any of them.
On the first day of each new school year I would ask each child to stand, give their name and tell me one thing about themselves. When it was Bill’s turn, he stood and as he began to talk he definitely got my attention. His speech was impeccable. He didn’t just give me his name. He began a genealogy of his family. He wanted me to display the world map so he could pinpoint exactly where his ancestors came from. I had to cut short his presentation. He sat down quietly.
The children laughed at him. I knew I had a situation that was going to need all my patience and understanding.
I talked with Bill’s parents, got a better understanding of their child, and told them I was going to give Bill ten minutes every Friday to stand before the class and speak. When I told Bill he was delighted. I explained to the children about Bill’s abilities and how very special he was. I told them that it would be a time for them to ‘listen.' There would be no laughter directed at him.
Bill had a lot to say and his knowledge about history and geography was beyond mine! I needed to know that what he was saying was correct! I contacted a high school teacher to sit in our class and listen to Bill. As I expected, we both agreed that Bill had knowledge above that of most adults.
Academically Bill did fine. Despite his eyesight and rather poor hand coordination he completed the work and was a good student. Socially he was not accepted. The children viewed him as someone totally different and did not know how to respond to him.
He was never included in any of the outside activities and was basically ignored. On the playground he showed an interest in baseball. He watched the boys play, clapped for them when they made hits, but was never asked to play.
One day Bill was absent from school. I used this opportunity to have a heart to heart talk with the children. I discussed the handicaps of this child and how it must feel to never be included in activities, never to be asked to participate, never have anyone to talk to. I asked the children to put themselves in his place. ‘How would you feel? Would you be happy to come to school knowing that others were laughing behind your back when you walked and talked?’ I ended by asking them what we could do to show Bill that we cared.
The children were excited about including Bill. The boys decided to make him the captain of the baseball team. Because Bill had never hit a baseball, I was the instructor who helped him learn how to hold a bat and hit a ball. The exciting day was when he actually hit the ball all by himself. He ran as best as he could around the bases and the children cheered him on! The boys asked Bill to do other activities and it wasn’t long before he was invited over to a friend’s house.
The children learned a great deal from Bill. They began to appreciate his intelligence and realized how important it was to be sensitive toward a child who was different. Throughout the year I saw a young boy begin to develop confidence and a self-esteem that he had never had before. His parents were equally thrilled to see their child being accepted and trying activities he thought he could never do.
These ‘ignored’ children are all us. They may not be as obvious as Bill, but every child needs to feel accomplishment, acceptance, and understanding. Every child needs encouragement and a teacher has the chance to help a child realize his potential.
Teacher Tip:
If a game is going to be played that requires choosing teams, line the children up and number them 1 and 2. Do not pick a captain for each side and proceed to let the captain pick his team. It is very hurtful and humiliating to be one of the last ones chosen.
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If you are a teacher you know exactly what I am talking about. As teachers we may have a tendency to pay more attention to some children even though we try not to. We tend to be drawn to the ‘well-rounded’ child who has developed a cute personality.
There is the child who I label ‘ignored’. This child could be the one who is quiet, not quite as cute as the others. He/she may be very attentive to instruction, or he/she may daydream and think of other places he/she would rather be than sitting in school. It is the child who doesn’t play with the others on the playground. It is the child who you wonder what he/she is thinking.
Bill, not his real name, came into my fourth grade classroom on the first day of school and I knew immediately he was not ordinary. His stature was that of a little man, he wore very thick glasses, and had difficultly walking. He took a seat in the back of the room and waited for instruction. I watched him as the other children came into the room. They ignored him and he didn’t talk to any of them.
On the first day of each new school year I would ask each child to stand, give their name and tell me one thing about themselves. When it was Bill’s turn, he stood and as he began to talk he definitely got my attention. His speech was impeccable. He didn’t just give me his name. He began a genealogy of his family. He wanted me to display the world map so he could pinpoint exactly where his ancestors came from. I had to cut short his presentation. He sat down quietly.
The children laughed at him. I knew I had a situation that was going to need all my patience and understanding.
I talked with Bill’s parents, got a better understanding of their child, and told them I was going to give Bill ten minutes every Friday to stand before the class and speak. When I told Bill he was delighted. I explained to the children about Bill’s abilities and how very special he was. I told them that it would be a time for them to ‘listen.' There would be no laughter directed at him.
Bill had a lot to say and his knowledge about history and geography was beyond mine! I needed to know that what he was saying was correct! I contacted a high school teacher to sit in our class and listen to Bill. As I expected, we both agreed that Bill had knowledge above that of most adults.
Academically Bill did fine. Despite his eyesight and rather poor hand coordination he completed the work and was a good student. Socially he was not accepted. The children viewed him as someone totally different and did not know how to respond to him.
He was never included in any of the outside activities and was basically ignored. On the playground he showed an interest in baseball. He watched the boys play, clapped for them when they made hits, but was never asked to play.
One day Bill was absent from school. I used this opportunity to have a heart to heart talk with the children. I discussed the handicaps of this child and how it must feel to never be included in activities, never to be asked to participate, never have anyone to talk to. I asked the children to put themselves in his place. ‘How would you feel? Would you be happy to come to school knowing that others were laughing behind your back when you walked and talked?’ I ended by asking them what we could do to show Bill that we cared.
The children were excited about including Bill. The boys decided to make him the captain of the baseball team. Because Bill had never hit a baseball, I was the instructor who helped him learn how to hold a bat and hit a ball. The exciting day was when he actually hit the ball all by himself. He ran as best as he could around the bases and the children cheered him on! The boys asked Bill to do other activities and it wasn’t long before he was invited over to a friend’s house.
The children learned a great deal from Bill. They began to appreciate his intelligence and realized how important it was to be sensitive toward a child who was different. Throughout the year I saw a young boy begin to develop confidence and a self-esteem that he had never had before. His parents were equally thrilled to see their child being accepted and trying activities he thought he could never do.
These ‘ignored’ children are all us. They may not be as obvious as Bill, but every child needs to feel accomplishment, acceptance, and understanding. Every child needs encouragement and a teacher has the chance to help a child realize his potential.
Teacher Tip:
If a game is going to be played that requires choosing teams, line the children up and number them 1 and 2. Do not pick a captain for each side and proceed to let the captain pick his team. It is very hurtful and humiliating to be one of the last ones chosen.
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