What is Discipline?
The definition of discipline in the Webster’s dictionary is “instruction." It is training which corrects, molds, strengthens, or perfects.
There are many books and thoughts on the best way to handle children, but in reality it comes down to you and your spouse as to how you are going to train children in your home.
It would be nice to have a ‘perfect’ child. In reality, and you wouldn’t want it any other way, your child is different from any other person on the face of this earth. He/she thinks, feels and reacts in his/her own unique way.
I will be putting down ideas that have been very beneficial to many parents. They have been tried and been successful. You may disagree and that is okay. You are the ‘teacher’ to your child and the final decision as to how you are going to ‘discipline’ is entirely up to you.
Positive disciplining is achieving a goal without using negative responses. It is being firm without being mean.
Examples of Positive Verbal Discipline:
Examples of Negative Verbal Discipline:
There is a also a difference between firmness and meanness. You and your spouse should set rules in your home. As a ‘teacher’ your job will be to follow them.
Firmness:
When you are instructing your child make sure you are at eye level. It is important that you have full attention. If he/she is very young and does not look at you, cup his/her face in your hands. Explain your direction. If he/she is old enough to speak have them repeat your instruction back to you. Ask if he/she understands. If he/she continues to do what you asked him not to, sit him/her down, and explain your direction again. If he/she disobeys you again, hold him firmly and give one good spank. Never spank when you are angry. It is up to your discretion whether you’d like to use a ‘naughty chair’ or some other type of action after this altercation. However, always make sure that your child understands that what he/she has done is not acceptable.
Meanness:
Meanness is malicious and degrading. It is not thinking of the feelings of your child. You may say things that you regret. You may do things you wish you hadn’t. Your child is watching and learning. He/she is receiving feedback about himself/herself through your behavior.
You may be asking a question, “How long does all this ‘training’ take? I can’t take the time to do all of this.” Some children will learn quickly. Others it will take time, but once they know what YOU expect from them, you will have children who WILL do as you ask.
Stay posted for real life examples on how to deal with every day discipline situations.
There are many books and thoughts on the best way to handle children, but in reality it comes down to you and your spouse as to how you are going to train children in your home.
It would be nice to have a ‘perfect’ child. In reality, and you wouldn’t want it any other way, your child is different from any other person on the face of this earth. He/she thinks, feels and reacts in his/her own unique way.
I will be putting down ideas that have been very beneficial to many parents. They have been tried and been successful. You may disagree and that is okay. You are the ‘teacher’ to your child and the final decision as to how you are going to ‘discipline’ is entirely up to you.
Positive Verses Negative Disciplining
It is your responsibility to train your child. The ultimate goal of every parent is to have your child listen and obey. There is a way, a manner, in which you ‘teach’. There should be ‘rules’ in your home. Children should know these rules are in your home because you love them. Positive disciplining isn’t allowing your child to do anything he/she pleases and being praised for it. Praise shouldn’t be handed out where praise isn’t due. A child must learn very early in life there are consequences to bad behavior.Positive disciplining is achieving a goal without using negative responses. It is being firm without being mean.
Examples of Positive Verbal Discipline:
- You did a good job on that!
- Let me help you!
- I love you!
- You really tried didn’t you?
- That looks good!
- I’m so proud of you.
- Is there anything you want me to help you with?
- I’m here for you!
Examples of Negative Verbal Discipline:
- What do you think you are trying to do? It looks awful.
- You can’t do that.
- You really are stupid.
- You don’t behave like your sister/brother/neighbor, cousin.
- You don’t know how to behave.
- You never do what I ask you to do.
- Why can’t you listen to me?
- You really make me angry!
There is a also a difference between firmness and meanness. You and your spouse should set rules in your home. As a ‘teacher’ your job will be to follow them.
Firmness:
When you are instructing your child make sure you are at eye level. It is important that you have full attention. If he/she is very young and does not look at you, cup his/her face in your hands. Explain your direction. If he/she is old enough to speak have them repeat your instruction back to you. Ask if he/she understands. If he/she continues to do what you asked him not to, sit him/her down, and explain your direction again. If he/she disobeys you again, hold him firmly and give one good spank. Never spank when you are angry. It is up to your discretion whether you’d like to use a ‘naughty chair’ or some other type of action after this altercation. However, always make sure that your child understands that what he/she has done is not acceptable.
Meanness:
Meanness is malicious and degrading. It is not thinking of the feelings of your child. You may say things that you regret. You may do things you wish you hadn’t. Your child is watching and learning. He/she is receiving feedback about himself/herself through your behavior.
You may be asking a question, “How long does all this ‘training’ take? I can’t take the time to do all of this.” Some children will learn quickly. Others it will take time, but once they know what YOU expect from them, you will have children who WILL do as you ask.
Stay posted for real life examples on how to deal with every day discipline situations.
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